Why do we think of so many great ideas in the shower?
Four conditions are generally in play:
- Our brain is relatively quiet with minimal electrical activity.
- We’re internally focused, letting our mind wander rather than being stimulated by external activity, such as digital screens.
- We’re in a positive mindset.
- We’re not directly working on any problems, especially work challenges.
As Dr. David Rock explained in his book Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long, it’s not the water that helps you get insights. It’s that you break the impasse in the way you’ve been thinking.
You’re lathering up while your subconscious brain works in the background. It taps into your stored memories and experiences and connects neurons in new ways for you.
And all of a sudden—as it seems to your conscious brain that has been taking a break from logical thinking—you have that “aha” moment. You’ve reached a great insight! (This is multi-tasking in a powerful, efficient way!)
Now contrast your experiences like this in the shower with what frequently happens at work.
Your prefrontal cortex—commonly referred to as the “executive function” of your brain—is often on overload. You’re trying to juggle a number of thoughts, you’re keeping an eye on your phone as well as the room you’re in, you’re listening to colleagues talking over one another, you all are on deadline to solve a new problem creatively, and you’re anxious about it and several other topics, especially since your boss just scared you about the consequences of last quarter’s performance on your department’s budget. Oh, and you’re hungry.
No wonder that only 10% say they do their best thinking at work, according to David.
What can you do to improve your focus and your thinking at work?
Short of constructing a shower in your cube, start small with some tiny steps.
First embrace the concept of “will, skill and hill.”
The “will” refers to your motivation to take control of your mind and thoughts. In other words, resolve not to play the victim, letting yourself and your thoughts be hijacked by others. Granted this is easier said than done; however, if you’re willing to become more mindful and more self-aware about what distracts you, you’ve taken a large leap forward.
The “skill” is to learn and adopt new behaviors that will help you clear your mind, improve your focus and think more creatively. Consider starting with Tiny Habits®,the innovative program designed by Dr. BJ Fogg.
This past week, as a certified Tiny Habits® coach I coached people in a pilot program of Tiny Habits for Work. We designed many of these habits to improve mindfulness, productivity and satisfaction with work.
For example, some effective Tiny Habits for Work are taking three deep breaths, affirming what a great day it will be and walking around the office.
“Hill” is all about taking steps in your environment to reduce or remove the barriers so you can get over the hill that’s in your way and be more productive. You may not be able to shrink a mountain into a mole hill, but you should be able to start building a path that’s easier to go across.
How can you set yourself up for success to think more clearly and creatively?
Some ideas that work for others include: Set an alarm so you’ll take breaks every 60 minutes or so to stretch or even better, walk outdoors. Keep a file of cartoons that will make you laugh. Have flowers on your desk. (Or walk to the reception area and smell the flowers.) Spend a few minutes doodling or drawing.
Next, you need to experiment to find out what works best for you.
To help you do so, join me for the webinar Stop Your Stinking Thinking: 7 Ways To Use Neuroscience To Sharpen Your Mind and Be a More Powerful Communicator and Leader on Wednesday, May 21 at 12 noon ET (9 am Central). The webinar sponsor Communitelligence is offering $50 off when you use the code connect50. Many of the ideas I’ll talk about on the webinar will help you improve your focus and your thinking as well as be more influential.
By the way, if you’re interested in diving into some of the research on this topic, check out the work of Dr. Mark Beeman at Northwestern University who’s an expert on the neuroscience of insights. Also look at the research of Dr. Stellan Ohlsson at the University of Illinois who studies the “impasse experience.”
Meanwhile, if you want any help becoming a “showerhead,” contact me. Who says showerheads should be limited to devices that control the spray of water in a shower?
Showerheads also can be those of us who think creatively in and out of the shower. What do you think?
By Liz Guthridge, Connect Consulting Group LLC
Not likely.
Elephants are those forbidden subjects and hard questions that lurk in the back of everyone’s mind – and which senior management hopes will go unnoticed.
Every organization has its own elephants. But if you listed them, you’d be surprised at how the same themes exist in company after company. Here are some verbatim examples from email surveys and focus groups at various organizations I’ve worked with.
* Senior leadership paints a picture of Utopia. What world are they in?
* I’ve met with the mayor of this city more times than I’ve met with our company leaders.
* We have managers, not leaders.
* How can our executives say “we’re all in this together” when they get all the benefits and we get all the cuts?
* Our best people are leaving and the “dead wood” is staying.
* No one cares how hard we work.
* Loyalty is a one-way street here.
* They talk about collaboration, but we don’t get rewarded for it.
* The wrong people get promoted into leadership positions.
* Leaders don’t tell us the whole story.
What if, at the next all-hands meeting, leaders talked about the elephants in the room? What if they used that opportunity to set a tone of transparency and candor? How do you think employees would react?
Well, in my experience, a well-planned session around these unspeakable issues builds employee engagement better than all the “rah-rah” motivational speeches ever could. It breaks down barriers, creates equity between leadership and workers, and jolts people out of their usually complacent or skeptical mindsets.
Here’s how I’d design it:
1. Use email and focus groups to uncover key issues. Capture exact words and phrases.
2. Create a “Top 10 Elephants” list.
3. Prepare executives for the process, but don’t let them see the list beforehand.
4. Bring in an outside moderator to ask pointed questions and push for real answers.
Sound risky? Sure. But how risky is it to think employees can focus on work while surrounded by a herd of elephants?
I have been intrigued by the subject of leadership for a long time. Like most of us I’ve worked with leaders good, bad and mediocre, inspired by some and bored by others.
Early in my communication career I found myself drawn to exploring the nature of business and that led me to discover more about the leaders who so profoundly affect organizational life. I was an absolute sponge for the stuff. Looking back, I realize my early interest probably had more to do with wanting to change the leaders I worked for. How successful do you think I was at that? It took a while but I came to understand the inevitable: When it comes to leadership, I could only change myself. Hmmm. Back to square one.
So now that we’re at square one where to begin? There are numerous great books on leadership to be read and inspired by. Here are just a few of my favorites:
Michael Fullan, Leading in a Culture of Change
Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee, Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of Emotional Intelligence
John P. Kotter on What Leaders Really Do
James Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge
I have also learned from the writings of William Bridges, Margaret Wheatley, Peter Senge, Dave Ulrich and others whose perspectives have further enriched my understanding. One thing is certain. There are more books on leadership than there is time to read them. That’s why recommendations from others go a long way to making the best of our reading time.
What about you? What books on leadership are at the top of your list? What would you recommend to this community?
by Elise Roaf
Your workplace is filled with liars! How do I know?
I’ve got this straight from one of the foremost authorities on body language in business, Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. Carol conducted an extensive survey to research her new book, The Truth About Lies in the Workplace (Berrett-Koehler).
Here are a few of the startling facts she uncovered:
- · 67% of workers don’t trust senior leadership
- · 53% said their immediate supervisor regularly lied to them
- · 51% believe their co-workers regularly lied
- · 53% admitted lying themselves
Lies and deception are running rampant in the workplace. Fortunately, Carol’s terrific new book explains in easy to understand language:
- · How to spot a liar and what to do about it
- · How men and women lie differently
- · How to deal with liars whether the liar is above, below, or on the same level as you
- · The one lie you better not tell your manager
- · How to NOT look like a liar when you’re telling the truth
- · Ways to foster candor and decrease deception in your organization
Carol’s advice applies whether the liar is a co-worker, boss, customer, prospect or board member. Her tips will help you defend yourself and your company from backstabbers, credit taking colleagues, lying bosses, gossips, and cheating job applicants.
I recommend that you read The Truth About Lies in the Workplace. When you order your copy now, you will also receive over $500 worth of career-building bonus gifts from Carol’s friends (including Communitelligence). And that’s no lie.
P.S. If you think you are too sharp to be taken in by a con man like Bernie Madoff, you had better read Chapter 3: Why We Believe Liars and How We Play Into Their Hands twice. Get your copy now.
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is the author of nine books including CREATIVITY IN BUSINESS and “THIS ISN’T THE COMPANY I JOINED” — How to Lead in a Business Turned Upside Down. She delivers keynote speeches and seminars to association and business audiences around the world. For more information or to book Carol as a speaker at one of your events, please call: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or visit her website: http://www.CKG.com.
Regardless of your particular discipline, I believe that there’s much about communications – applicable to today – that we can learn from Mr. Lincoln:
1. Getting to the point – The Gettysburg Address is one of the most famous speeches ever delivered. It consisted of 10 sentences and took a little more than two minutes to deliver (by way of comparison, President Obama’s recent State of the Union address lasted well over an hour including the applause breaks). In the time he spoke, Lincoln invoked the principles of human equality as set forth by the Declaration of Independence and redefined the Civil War as a struggle not merely for the Union, but as “a new birth of freedom” that would bring true equality to all of its citizens, and that would also create a unified nation.
All of President Lincoln’s hopes to end the Civil War and the entire future of his presidency and, for that matter, the entire nation, rested on his shoulders at that moment. Yet he did not allow the importance of the moment to complicate his message, and that speaks volumes about Lincoln’s gift as a communicator.
By now, it is widely known that Mr. Lincoln labored mightily with this speech as opposed to the commonly-held belief that it was hurriedly written on the back of envelop in ten minutes. In choosing his words carefully, Mr. Lincoln delivered his messages cogently and succinctly (and, of course, without the aid of PowerPoint).
2. Listening – How often do we forget that listening is an important part of the communications process? Clearly Mr. Lincoln was a listener and this trait informed his opinions and shaped his understanding of the people he was elected to govern. He spent hours sitting and talking with people, asking questions and getting to know others. He talked with soldiers, widows of fallen soldiers, common people and more. Although known as a great storyteller, he was also known to take the time to hear complaints from people and listen to their stories. It’s hard for leaders of significant importance to take the time to slow down and listen, but it’s critically important.
3. Crisis communications – Given that Mr. Lincoln presided over a war torn country, he came to be an expert at crisis communications. More than telling the American public why the war was worth fighting, he gave them a sense of hope during a time when hundreds of thousands were dying in the Civil War. And he gave Americans a sense of purpose, that it was their duty to honor the dead by ensuring government “of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”
Read full article by Gene Marback at ThereforeIAM
Seek first to understand, then be understood is habit five of Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. “What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?”
Lolly Daskal, author of the Lead from Within blog and hostess of a Twitter chat with the same name, touched on this concept this week in her post, The Art of Listening.
Most people listen with the goal of responding, but listening is really about silence, Lolly wrote.
I often find myself wanting to respond. I have to remind myself to be silent.
Lolly also reminded her readers that listening means not judging, questioning or attempting to fix.
Listening, and truly understanding, is a difficult skill learned only through active practice. It’s also a skill that’s critical for journalists to master.
The essence of listening is in silence:
- Do not judge
- Do not question
- Do not fix
As an entrepreneur, you may find navigating large networking events overwhelming and even unproductive if you aren’t prepared.
Given our experience, below are five tips to make sure you are getting the most out of your time (as well as the time of the people you meet):
- Do your homework. Utilize all the resources at your disposal to determine which events are relevant and interesting to you, given the topic as well as the people attending. After determining which event to attend, map out a plan to make the most of your time there. Leverage existing relationships for introductions to individuals who are attending whom you’d like to meet. Let your social networks on Twitter or LinkedIn know in advance that you’ll be attending–it’s a great way to turn online relationships into real-life connections. 2. Allow for spontaneity. Though it’s important to plan ahead, it’s also wise to leave room for meeting people you might not otherwise connect with or learning things you didn’t know. Maintaining an open mind–and an open schedule–has led to significant opportunities for our firm that we might not have even had on our radar a couple of years ago. 3. Get your elevator speech down. It may seem obvious, but being able to clearly articulate what you are trying to accomplish or what you have to offer is an extremely important part of the networking process. The key is to make every introduction memorable to ensure you’re not forgotten the minute you walk away. 4. Ask the right questions. You can gain a better understanding of each person’s needs and motivations by practicing active listening and asking relevant questions. By consistently looking to collaborate and create win-win situations, you might be able to help in ways you hadn’t planned. We often find that making introductions across your existing network to set up the right people is one of the greatest networking tools available.
Even the most eloquent of public and private speakers could always stand to tweak their communication skills just a little bit. After all, the ability to convey feelings and facts stands as essential to keeping the human species rolling along. Both the Internet and bookshelves sport advice a-go-go on how to get points across as clearly as possible, and the venerable open source lecture series TED does not disappoint in this regard. Its best offerings regarding human connectivity encourage essentials not always discussed in manuals and textbooks, so give them some consideration and use them to launch more exploration into how to grow into an effective, evocative communicator.
Elizabeth Lesser: Take “the Other” to lunch:
If communications with people on opposite sides of political, cultural, religious and other common divides so often proves extremely problematic, try Elizabeth Lesser’s simple-but-effective approach. Rather than arguing, go out for a nice lunch and analyze similarities and gently debate departures to nurture a greater understanding.
Julia Bacha: Pay attention to nonviolence:
Global and personal perspectives alike can benefit from sharpening those reframing skills, as this provocative TED Talk on international relations attests. Julia Bacha encourages listeners to look at stories from multiple angles, using peaceful Palestinian protests that never make the evening news as an example of how things aren’t always as they appear.
Nancy Duarte: The secret structure of great talks:
Presentation expert Nancy Duarte, CEO of Duarte Design, analyzed hundreds of the world’s most powerful and potent speeches and noted that they tend to sport eerily similar structures. For anyone who hopes to communicate major ideas in a persuasive manner — either to a crowd or to whomever happens to be within shouting distance of the La-Z-Boy — such an observation might prove a particularly valuable advice nugget.
the attack was meant as a show of support for the Occupy Wall Street movement
Don’t mess up these 25 most egregious grammar goofs, thanks to copyblogger and BlueGlass:
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Bridging is the art of answering a tough or off-target question (or an easy question) and smoothly segueing into a positive answer. The secret is giving a short, honest answer to the question, and then either 1) ask another question—and answer with one of your key messages, or 2) move directly to the key message. If you can’t logically move to one of your key ideas, then give the short answer and stop. Bridging allows you to maintain a two-party dialog without giving up control. Here are some examples of bridge language:
- “I don’t know the answer to that question. What I do know is …”
- “It sounds as though what you’re really asking is …”
- “Yes. You also may be wondering …”
- “If you’re asking me …”
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Listing allows you to force your questioner to take in more information than he or she expected. You say you have three or four important points to make, and then make everyone listen without interrupting you. Make sure to number each. Only do this when you’ve got questions that need a lengthy answer. For example: “We do this in three ways. First, … Second, … Third, …”
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Hooking (no—not what you think!) means giving a little taste of an idea to encourage the kind of follow-up questions you want:
- “You’d be surprised at what our research indicates …” [What does your research indicate?]
- “We’ve got some other exciting new services that will be available soon …” [What are those new services?]
Use this technique carefully, though. It offers the least amount of control over the Q&A—because you have to hope your audience is following you closely enough to ask that right second question.
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Flagging allows you to use language and your voice to let the questioner know you’re about to share something very important. Use flagging to indicate this is a significant question and that your answer includes one or more key ideas:
- “The most important point to remember is …”
- “If you remember nothing else about what we’ve discussed today, remember this: …”
- “The real issue is …”
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Summarizing is an effective tactic to use after the final question has been asked. The presentation doesn’t end just because people have run out of questions. Circle back to those key messages you want people to remember—in addition to thanking them for their help and participation:
1. “In closing, let me leave you with these three ideas …
2. “Those were excellent questions. In summary …”
And don’t forget that call to action. Tell everyone what you want them to do now that they understand the compelling case you’ve made. Leave nothing to chance (because that increases the chances you won’t get what you want).
People remember what you said, not the question.
Your first step to doing this well is to determine your three key points before the Q&A. The second step is to be so familiar with those messages that you can use bridging, listing, hooking and flagging to work at least one of them in to each response. And then you can use summarizing to make sure your audience didn’t miss anything—and knows what to do next.
This approach increases the likelihood that people will remember—and do—what you want them to. Now you’ve capitalized on the true opportunity a Q&A offers.
Lynn Franklin says she started Lynne Franklin Wordsmith 16 years ago because …”I was in danger of being made a partner at the world’s largest investor relations agency. Or because a tarot card reader told me to. Or because I wanted to prove my theory that wearing pantyhose didn’t make me more productive. All of those would be true.”
If you’ve been in communication for a while now, and you consider yourself an advisor rather than an order-taker, then right now your brow is furrowed. Why would I ask what the value of strategic communication is? Aren’t we passed this? Can’t we just assume that yes, strategic communication is valuable. More valuable than simple tactics such as newsletters and Town Halls?
First, let’s take a stab at defining “strategic communication.” Here’s a simple view (I am, as always, focused on internal communication):
Sound and measurable communication process that supports business goals, enables individuals and teams to contribute their best, and encourages dialog and recognition
These are the elements research shows us are fundamental to engagement in the workplace. These are the elements that make workplace change more successful, and according to the work of John P. Kotter, our organizations more financially sound.
Right about now, you’re wondering why I’m talking about this. Well, last month I facilitated a webinar for Communitelligence on moving execs and clients off a tactical focus and onto a more strategic thought process. One comment in the evaluation really sparked my attention. The attendee wanted more explanation of what made strategic communication better.
I talked this through with several others, including Communitelligence founder John Gerstner. We all wonder why we’re still talking about this. Isn’t it obvious that making a strategic difference to our organizations is better than just cranking out newsletters? Haven’t we proven this in our ROIs, measurement and business cases
Could it be that this was an entry level communicator who hasn’t yet discovered the value of strategy in his or her work? If so, this speaks to a void in our educational system that we professionals will have to fill as these newbies come into the work place.
Could it be that this was a mid-level communicator who hasn’t had the benefit of a mentor or working for a strategic-thinking organization? Likely – we see it all the time. This is what our associations are striving to do, along with those of us providing many different organizations counsel. But, it takes a long time to reach everyone, especially those who are not networking, not reaching out, not getting involved with other communicators.
Could it be that this was a senior level communicator who still hasn’t got the message about strategy, about serving as an advisor, about delivering value? I sure hope not. You’d have to have been working for decades in a vacuum.
I am always willing to educate other communicators on the value of strategy in our work. I wistfully look to the day when the presumption is that communication is strategic – there is no other option.
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado.
Comments |
RE: What’s the value of strategic communication? |
Interesting topic, Stacy…I’ve been discussing this issue of “tactical vs. strategic” communication around a lot recently with colleagues and friends. I think what I’m missing in your definition is the word “change.” A great tactical communications plan will be measurable and support one or more business goals, but it focuses on a delivered result rather than on a delivered change. It’s really only when either individual behavior and/or organizational direction needs to be changed that a communications strategy is required. A planner asks the question “Are we doing things right?” while a strategist asks “Are we doing the right things?” A strategy is only valued where it is required — i.e. where change is well defined — otherwise, a really good plan will do perfectly fine, even at a high level in the organization. Remember the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland…When Alice asks the cat which fork in the road to take, the cat asks where she wants to go. When she says that it doesn’t really matter where she goes, then the cat says it doesn’t matter which road she chooses. When managers can’t really define the change they want to see, they aren’t likely to value communication strategy. |
Posted on Thursday, Jan 21, 2010 – 09:24:00 PM CST Peg |
RE: What’s the value of strategic communication? |
Mike, valid comments. However, in my original post, I noted that I’m willing to “educate.” I don’t think you can persuade someone to take up a strategic mindset and certainly did not imply that. But, education is required and it can be done without the big wow effort. Just yesterday I spoke with a young communicator about her communication plan. We walked through it step-by-step and addressed where her thinking needed to be more strategic. We talked about how she can use this thinking to reposition herself with her internal client and achieve more results with stakeholders. If we keep talking about this type of focus, even with the small stuff, eventually she embeds the thinking. We tackle her confidence level and position her to make a difference, even if it’s not in a shock and awe sort of way. It’s one person at a time. Changing the definition and the entry methods into the profession will wait for another day. |
Posted on Friday, Jan 15, 2010 – 03:04:00 PM CST stacywilson |
Are We Appropriately Recognized? |
The issue of whether the value of the communicator is appropriately recognized is an old, old chestnut. It persists, in my view for four main reasons: 1) There is no common definition for “communication” within and among businesses. One person’s job spec for a “communication lead” may involve strategy and messaging, another’s may involve effectively acting as a concierge for senior stakeholders. This problem is unlikely to disappear. 2) The barrier for entry into the world of communication is non-existent. Everyone–particularly many senior managers–fancies themself as a communication expert on some level. Many who end up as professional communicators do so by default or accident. Even with aggressive growth of professional accreditation, this is unlikely to change as well. 3) The above factors do little for the confidence of professional communicators (and particularly internal communicators) and the corresponding timidity produces work that is safer and more tactical than required. 4) The organization has yet to have a “shock and awe” moment when they realize something desired would not have been possible without the strategic communicator. I do think things will get better–not by trying to persuade people that we should be treated as strategic–but by seizing the opportunities for communication to make a difference in these turbulent times. Mike Klein–The Intersection http://intersectionblog.wordpress.com |
Posted on Friday, Jan 15, 2010 – 10:18:00 AM CST Leadershift |
Yesterday’s Communitelligence webinar was about getting executives and clients off the individual tactics and into strategic thinking and decision-making. As the facilitator, I talked about using questioning and even offered 15 specific questions people can use to pull a client or exec back to strategy.
- Creating your own questions
- Facilitating a flexible planning session
- Recapturing a hi-jacked session
One of the individuals who sent in the evaluation after the webinar had this to say: “Perhaps more specific, rather than general, examples.” Ok, I can accept that a few specific stories illustrating how to use all the intellectual capital we just gave away would have been good adds. I’ll do that next time.
But, as my colleague just said, “they want you to do it for them.” He’s right. So many of the communicators I run into in conference and workshop sessions want someone to give them step-by-step instruction. “Just tell me what to say in that difficult conversation with my exec – give me a script.”
John Gerstner, president of Communitelligence, commented to me that even best practices don’t always make sense because you need a solution that speaks to your particular organization. So, it’s about taking the tools and figuring it out for your situation or organization. Requires some critical thinking, a skill that all of us in communication should continue to hone.
This depends on my ability to recognize a bunch of valuable tools when I see them. I think some are looking so hard for the script that they miss the tools right in front of them. And it means being able to think through how to use the tools once I’ve recognized them. Takes work. Takes effort, focus and dedication. Sometimes courage.
I’m all about tools. Those who’ve worked with me know this. But, not tools that simply tell “how” to do something or tell precisely “what” to do. No, I value tools that prompt my strategic thinking and that of my client. I want tools that push me to be practical, direct, honest with myself and my client, focused on the right stuff. That’s what a good communication tool should do.
When we took a bunch of our custom tools and made them available online at http://www.eloquor.com, this was our focus. Help communicators think more strategically, even when putting out fires. Part of that is about helping communication teams conduct their strategic business more consistently. Ultimately, it all comes down to positioning communication as a strategic function that serves as a valuable asset and trusted advisor to the business. Put in less “corporate speak”: communication matters to the business and communicators offer the business value.
But, communicators have to be willing to hone their critical thinking skills, to use strategic thinking tools and to master the ability to find great and appropriate solutions. It’s our future.
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado.
Maybe it’s the first time you’re standing in the doorway to a room of people you don’t know—swallowing hard because there’s no saliva in your mouth, and clutching your business cards in a sweaty hand. Or maybe you’ve been in that doorway many times (but chances are, you’re still exhibiting a milder form of both symptoms).
They don’t call it “NetWORKING” for nothing!
Looking for a new take on this standard business tactic, I attended “The Wonders of Intentional Networking” at the Wright Business Institute in Chicago (http://www.wrightexcellence.com). Here are three of my lessons learned—and some new tactics you and I should both be using.
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Trick #1: Walk In with a Goal. It probably shouldn’t be one of these: 1) the number of business cards you give out or get, 2) finding a new client or employer, or 3) closing a sale. This is tough. Most of the time we (force ourselves to) network because we’ve got a business need and we want to create an opportunity.
Experience taught me this kind of desperation leaks out your pores—turning off any chance of a meaningful exchange with someone who could be interested. And I’ve also walked into plenty of rooms with no real notion why I’m there (besides I should be) and come away disappointed.
So set a realistic goal. If you’re a new networker or shy, that could be speaking with at least two new people (rather than finding a friend or one person you meet and attaching yourself to him or her all night). If you’re a regular networker, your goal could be to locate someone you’d like to add to your “life team”—people you can cultivate and count on for good advice and support.
It’s that law of attraction: going in knowing what you want increases the chances that you’ll get it. Take an extra minute to do this before you arrive.
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Trick #2: Be Unselfish. Having cut my teeth in networking at Business Networking International (BNI), I’m a true believer in the “givers gain” philosophy. Enter a room ready to make connections to help the people you meet. This means you have to listen. It also requires you to ask non-directional questions: letting the person talk about what he or she wants—rather than what you want.
This is hard for me. I interview people for a living. My tendency is to “gather information.” Often my questions are targeted at learning about something that speaks to me. Now I’m trying out a new tack. More often, my questions and comments will include these: “How’s it going? Tell me more about that. Go on. That’s interesting. How so?”
Let the other person talk about what interests her or him. This actually leads to a deeper level of conversation, where you can learn more about a person’s issues or needs. And if you can connect the person to someone else who can help—or provide the help yourself—you’ve done a service that will be remembered.
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Trick #3: Be Selfish. There’s one person who comes to every networking event. Verbally and in body language, she screams “me-Me-ME!” She only wishes to speak about herself, her business, her family, her activities. She hands you her card before she asks your name. If she takes your card, you’ll find she’s left it on the table after departing—or has enrolled you in her e-newsletter the next day without having asked your permission.
When faced with her, remember your goal for this networking event. If listening to and assisting her will help reach your goal, then stay in the conversation. If it won’t (which usually is the case), then find a polite way to disengage (“Thanks for telling me about what you do. I’m sure there are other people you want to meet, too, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”). Then shake hands and move on. Trick #2’s being unselfish doesn’t mean being a doormat—so watch out for yourself.
Think about it: your best networking experiences happen when you have meaningful conversations on subjects people care about. And when you find ways to help others get to their goals, they’ll want to do the same for you. Then it becomes “Networking.”
Lynn Franklin says she started Lynne Franklin Wordsmith 16 years ago because …”I was in danger of being made a partner at the world’s largest investor relations agency. Or because a tarot card reader told me to. Or because I wanted to prove my theory that wearing pantyhose didn’t make me more productive. All of those would be true.”
How many times have you tried to have a strategic conversation with an executive or client only to have him or her immediately revert to a tactical focus? Sometimes, the same happens with other members of our own teams. It’s hard to stay focused on strategy. When you’re putting out a fire, it’s hard not to just focus on tactics – deliver the order.
The best way to regain that strategic focus is to ask the right questions. Whether you are just asking them of yourself, or of a client, executive, or colleague, you can use questions to prompt people’s strategic thinking. First, be sure you craft the right questions:
- Questions should demand details, not a yes or no response
- Questions should use keywords straight from your organizational or departmental strategy
- Seek to clarify assumptions or complexity
- Use supportive language
- Ask questions that value the other person’s opinion, validating the importance of the tactic
Here’s a story that serves as a great example. I was working with a client on a survey and she wanted to add a question to the survey. It was a bad question that wasn’t actionable and wouldn’t contribute to her strategic use of the results. I asked “What will you do with the results? What will you improve based on the results from that question?”
Stopped her dead in her tracks. She decided not to include the question.
Here’s another example. I had a conversation with a client about the company’s intranet. The client doesn’t believe the intranet has any strategic importance at all. He views it as a distraction on his plate of more pressing issues. Here is the series of questions I asked him:
- How important is innovation for your business? (He said it is their most important goal.)
- What is required of a company to be truly innovative? (After some prompting, he agreed that conversation, dialog and idea sharing were crucial.)
- What role might your intranet play in enabling more conversation, dialog and idea sharing?
He stared briefly at me in a stunned silence. He had his answer. He answered his own cynicism with his own answers to my questions.
One more story. After a facilitated series of Q&A and planning, my client and her team realized they can no longer be order takers and still deliver truly strategic communication solutions. Instead, they must enable others to be great communicators and serve the organization in a whole new way. At the end of the day I asked her what she thought about the planning we’d done.
“I just hadn’t ever thought about it this way. No one had asked me those questions.”
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado
Last week I facilitated two long days of review and planning sessions for a client. From 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. both days our small group of about six focused on business and HR strategy and process relative to their employee portal. We did process mapping, role identification, metrics planning and more. By the end of the two days the conference room was papered with flip charts, the whiteboard completely covered, and my camera full of earlier images from the whiteboard.
Our client is really excited about the content and work that came out of this session. I debriefed my team and during that discussion had several aha’s:
- So much of facilitation success is about the planning you put in before — a well-planned agenda, with exercises and techniques identified makes all the difference
- Planning to the group size, the setting, the desired outcomes is crucial — a small group in a small room can succeed with less formal approaches
- Adjusting to the ebb and flow of such a session is important — judge the value of the tangential conversation before redirecting
The last one proved to be really important last week. We didn’t use every approach I planned to use and we didn’t stay exactly on the agenda. Sometimes, the group wandered into valuable discussion and I let them go for a while. The results were really useful decisions and information that we may not have reached if I’d been too strict to the agenda.
Sometimes this is a tough call. Is what we’ve arrived at for this moment more important than what we’d planned to address? Can we still get to everything on our agenda? In anticipation of such a situation, I usually plan in some wiggle room. Using a parking lot also ensures you can move off the irrelevant topics fast.
What techniques do you use to keep your facilitation flexible?
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado
Generally, I can empathize with the control freaks out there, because I am one so much of the time. But communication control freaks, it’s time to let go. Actually, it’s way past time to let go of the idea that the communicator is the center of the universe doling out little pearls of priceless information to a grateful public like a parade grand marshal tossing candy to the spectators from the comfort of his or her top-down convertible.
The spectators are willing and incredibly able to toss back what they don’t like. And when they do, it’s just a bad idea to sue them for it.
The latest example of this reality popped up in my hometown of Chicago this week. An apartment management company is suing a tenant for libel after she posted an allegedly defamatory Twitter post about them. You can read the Chicago Tribune’s coverage for details, or search “landlord sues” on Twitter for a glimpse at the numerous tweets on the issue.
Suing someone for a post, rather than the more enlightened approach of engaging with complainers, is downright retro. It makes a company looked closed off, out of touch and old fashioned. Think of the time, energy and money this company has put toward lawyers, lawsuits and probably endless meetings grousing about a 16-word post. What has it gotten them? Imagine if they had instead focused a fraction of that time, energy and money on simply working with the tenant to determine if there were problems and how to fix them.
The idea that you might be able to control your audience has always been a fiction passed on from one generation of communicator to the next. Once and for all, let’s all agree to let go of the illusion of control.
Barbara Govednik launched 423 Communication in 2001 to helps its clients tell their stories through freelance writing services, coaching and editing services, and employee communication consulting and implementation. Read Barbara’s Being Well Said Blog.
It’s a question I get often: “How do you initiate a really difficult conversation with your client?” I’m not talking about the one about food in his or her teeth or toilet paper on the shoe.
I mean the one about “you aren’t thinking strategically,” “you’ve made a horrible decision,” “your communication plan isn’t going to deliver value,” “your team isn’t doing a good job.” Whether you are an internal or external consultant, having tough conversations comes with the territory. I believe most of my clients depend on me to give it to them straight (true, there are a few who prefer not to ever hear the bad news).
Planning and angle are the two most important elements about such conversations. Get clear with yourself why you need to have the discussion, what you hope to gain and what angle you can take to achieve success. Rehearse. Work out your language ahead of time. Play it over and over.
Use questions whenever you can to lead the client to “discover” the folly of their ways, and the sense of your observations. Draft these questions in advance and practice asking them. But, don’t hesitate to add others on the fly. Give yourself the time to think it through before blurting it out. That goes for anything you say.
Then, be very patient and listen more than you talk. Let the conversation evolve, guide it, lead it, but don’t control it too much. Wrap up the conversation with next steps, recommendations for changes, or a commitment to continue the conversation another time.
There will be those times when you have the same conversation over and over with a client who may never fully comprehend what you are trying to communicate. Sometimes, no matter how blunt you get, it won’t be absorbed. It happens. In those cases, you have to be pragmatic about what you require and desire from the relationship.
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado
As people who write, make presentations, sell our services, review employees, and communicate in one way or another every day, we’ve probably been told to “know your audience” more than once. As a lifelong writer, I’ve been given this sage advice more times that I can count. As a writing coach, I repeat it to my clients. Often. Usually with a funny little story about me, my husband, his coworker, and a hot intern. (Email me and I’ll tell you the whole sordid story!)
But, it might just be time to give “know your audience” a rest.
Not because audiences are no longer important. Not at all. They are not just important, they are required. Without them you are just talking to yourself, and people will cross the street avoid contact with you when that happens.
And certainly not because there is nothing to “know.” You cannot safely assume that everyone on the receiving end of your content fits nicely into a single, generic mold. Not even close.
It’s because audiences aren’t really just audiences anymore, not in the passive, we’ll-eat-up-this-content-clap-politely-and-be-on-our-way tradition of audiences. Audiences are really, as Wikinomics coauthor Anthony Williams put it when I heard him speak earlier this year, participants. (You can read John Gerstner’s coverage of the presentation). Or “users” as The New York Times now refers to people formerly known as readers. In some instances we can rightfully call them hecklers. They comment on, tweet about, write argumentative blog posts against and create parody videos on YouTube about your content. They are hardly just sitting by and listening quietly.
Communication has always implied a two-way exchange of information; it’s just that most of our tools used to be skewed to one-way delivery. That hasn’t been true for a while, so if you haven’t yet retired your image of your audience as passive information consumers, now’s the time. What you call them, be it “users” or “participants” or “co-conspirators” or “crazy hecklers,” is not as important as how you treat them – as participants in the flow of the information who can bring their unique perspective to the discussion and make it richer.
That also means you have to make peace with the fact that some people are going to be pleasant, some people are going to be professional and some people are going to be snarky. You can’t take a rant personally, and if you can read through the hyperbole, you might just find an excellent point.
So, my co-conspirators in communication, how are you changing the paradigm from “know your audience” to “know your participant?”
Barbara Govednik launched 423 Communication in 2001 to helps its clients tell their stories through freelance writing services, coaching and editing services, and employee communication consulting and implementation. Read Barbara’s Being Well Said Blog.
A young communicator interested in consulting asked me recently “how do you know what to charge?” It occurred to me that this is an important skill for all communicators, not just those in consulting or freelancing. If you don’t know how long it takes to do things, setting the expectations of internal clients may be impossible.
Paying attention to how long it takes to get things done is your first step. Even before I became a consultant, my team and I would track how much time we spent on certain activities. How many hours does it take to get the mid-year series of six focus groups done? How many hours does it take to draft content for the newsletter? The more you track, the more you learn.
Some go so far as to document the hours so they can look them up from an old project next time they get a similar request. Planning and scoping projects for your internal clients becomes much easier.
There are two important reasons to do such documentation of hours. Knowing how long it takes to do communication tasks
- Helps you plan a schedule and calendar for projects, making it easier to set timing expectations with clients
- Provides insight into the value of your team’s time and effort as compared to external resources
You know you and your team offer tremendous value to the organization, but can you prove that ROI to company leaders? Can you point to what it would cost if they went outside for help? Track the time, document it, and you’ll find yourself better able to plan, communicate, anticipate and prove your value.
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado