It’s a question I get often: “How do you initiate a really difficult conversation with your client?” I’m not talking about the one about food in his or her teeth or toilet paper on the shoe.
I mean the one about “you aren’t thinking strategically,” “you’ve made a horrible decision,” “your communication plan isn’t going to deliver value,” “your team isn’t doing a good job.” Whether you are an internal or external consultant, having tough conversations comes with the territory. I believe most of my clients depend on me to give it to them straight (true, there are a few who prefer not to ever hear the bad news).
Planning and angle are the two most important elements about such conversations. Get clear with yourself why you need to have the discussion, what you hope to gain and what angle you can take to achieve success. Rehearse. Work out your language ahead of time. Play it over and over.
Use questions whenever you can to lead the client to “discover” the folly of their ways, and the sense of your observations. Draft these questions in advance and practice asking them. But, don’t hesitate to add others on the fly. Give yourself the time to think it through before blurting it out. That goes for anything you say.
Then, be very patient and listen more than you talk. Let the conversation evolve, guide it, lead it, but don’t control it too much. Wrap up the conversation with next steps, recommendations for changes, or a commitment to continue the conversation another time.
There will be those times when you have the same conversation over and over with a client who may never fully comprehend what you are trying to communicate. Sometimes, no matter how blunt you get, it won’t be absorbed. It happens. In those cases, you have to be pragmatic about what you require and desire from the relationship.
Stacy Wilson, ABC, is president of Eloquor Consulting, Inc., in Lakewood, Colorado
