For years, communicators have debated the most effective ways of delivering key messages. Newsletters, videos, personal voice mails, public address systems, even today’s text messaging – all seem to have their proponents.
But if a leader is going to talk about new initiatives, major change, strategic opportunities – or if he/she has to deliver bad news – my advice is to do so face to face. Likewise, I’d counsel a team (even one that is geographically dispersed), to begin its collaborative process with an in-person meeting that allows team members get to know one another.
This is because in face-to-face meetings, our brains process a continual cascade of nonverbal cues that we use as the basis for building trust and professional intimacy – both of which are critical to high-level collaboration, negotiation, and communication. No such subliminal interpretation takes place with email, over the phone, nor (until just recently) during a videoconference.
But now, Cisco Systems is one of several companies working on products that make the virtual experience almost the same as a face-to-face interaction – and I was lucky enough to get a demonstration last month. Cisco’s TelePresence Meeting use a “life-size” high-definition video and directional sound technology that makes voices seem to come from where a user is located at the remote site. It’s absolutely amazing! This new generation of videoconferencing makes participants feel like they are actually sitting in the same room with people who are on the other side of the world (or, in my case, on the other side of the Cisco campus in San Jose, California). Best of all, I could make eye contact with my virtual partners, and we could respond to each other’s facial expressions and body language.
Here’s why I find this new technology is so very important . . .
When a parent smiles at a newborn baby, the infant will copy the movement. When someone near you yawns, you yawn. When you see another person getting a vaccination, you cringe.
The mechanism in the brain that causes these reactions was discovered in Italy, where scientists were studying the brain cells of macaque monkeys. Researchers had confirmed that when a monkey performs a single highly specific hand action, neurons in the motor cortex are very active. For example, every time a monkey reached for a peanut certain cells on either side of its brain “fired,” creating a buzzing sound that was detectable by highly sophisticated monitoring equipment.
One day a monkey wired up for such an experiment happened to see a human grab a peanut. Much to the researchers’ surprise, the same neurons fired in the same way. In terms of motor cell activity, the monkey’s brain could not tell the difference between actually doing something and seeing it done. Because the cells reflected the actions that the monkey observed in others, the neuroscientists named them “mirror neurons.”
Later experiments confirmed the existence of mirror neurons in humans. But the research revealed another surprise: for human beings, in addition to mirroring actions, the cells reflected sensations and feelings.
The term empathy describes the human ability to internalize the emotional state of others by simply observing their body language. The mirror neuron system gives us the ability to create an image of the internal state of another person’s mind. Empathizing with someone, whether in grief or joy, can activate the very same circuits in your own brain as in your companion’s. For example, one study had subjects watch a hand move forward to caress someone else and then saw another hand push it away rudely. The brains of the subjects registered the pain of social rejection as if it was happening to them.
Mirror neurons explain how we are hard-wired to connect with others. The moment you see an emotion expressed on someone’s face – or read it in her gestures or posture – you subconsciously place yourself in the other person’s “mental shoes,” and begin to sense that same emotion within yourself. For this reason mirror neurons are sometimes referred to as Dalai Lama neurons, because they provide a biological basis for compassion.
In his book, “On Becoming a Person,” psychologist Carl Rogers wrote, “Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding – to see the idea and attitude from the other person’s point of view, to sense how it feels to them, to achieve their frame of reference in regard to the thing they are talking about.”
Reaching that goal of understanding, of empathy — this is why nonverbal cues are so crucial to our profession relationships. And why I am so excited about the new technology. In the virtual world, Cisco’s TelePresence Meeting is one giant step forward for real communication!
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is the author of nine books including CREATIVITY IN BUSINESS and “THIS ISN’T THE COMPANY I JOINED” — How to Lead in a Business Turned Upside Down. She delivers keynote speeches and seminars to association and business audiences around the world. For more information or to book Carol as a speaker at one of your events, please call: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or visit her website: http://www.CKG.com.
